Friday, June 3, 2011

The Summer is here

Many people tend to think that memorial day is the official start to summer.  I would agree with this statement.  So, as I always do this time of year, I boxed up my winter outfits, Christmas sweaters, my nice, wintry cardigans, as well as my cold weather mugs and put them in safe storage until Halloween.  As I began to un-box my summer tank tops and old pairs of jeans that had gotten holes in the knees and subsequently got turned into jean shorts (which i believe are very popular among youth these days; oh to be young again! But I digress.), I got to thinking about how great summer is.  I mean, you get to go to the lake and go swimming, you get to stay up late doing outdoor activities due to longer days, your trampoline is no longer covered in a ton of snow so you can finally start filming for the sick trampoline sesh video that you and your brother have been planning all winter, and you get to go to all sorts of summer camps where your parents aren't there to stop you from eating candy in bed AFTER you already brushed your teeth.  But the best part about summer: Food! There's cookouts, barbecues, potlucks and church picnics everywhere you look!  Not to mention the fact that there are more people walking around outside with food and you know they're bound to drop a little on the ground and not come back to claim it. SCORE!  This brings me to my main point: my future plans.
As most of you know, I will be graduating soon.  At that point, I will have to find some other way to fill my time as well as make a career for myself.  Here is the plan: win on the hit reality TV show, The Biggest Loser. I realize that one must be overweight in order to compete on this show.  This is my first phase post collegiate competition.  I have already hired a weight gain coach who really knows his stuff.  He has advised me that the best way to gain weight is to eat bear claw doughnuts, two at a time.  This will be a thrilling and delicious season of life I'm sure.  Next phase will be the weight loss phase on the show.  I will be competing very hard to lose all that weight.  Once I have lost it and win the show, I will then live off of endorsements for the rest of my life.  I see no possible holes in my plan.  Wish me luck as I begin to plan for this endeavor.

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