Monday, June 27, 2011

Summertime livin'

As i have been reading my cohorts' blogs, I realize that they have stepped up their game when it comes to keeping the public hooked.  This is good.  One man once told me "everything is a competition".  So I thought I'd update everyone on my summer thus far.  First of all, I retired from the sport of long distance running.  This allows about an extra hour to hour and a half a day that I can spend doing other things.  To put that in perspective, that's two full days of my life that I've had spending my time doing other things than running. Intriguing.
Next... my current number of gophers that I have "tagged" in my vehicle this gopher season is three...One was really fat too.
As a random side note, I've always been fascinated with the idea of "dooring"  someone.  This is when you or your partner in crime (PIC) is driving a car and when you pass someone walking or riding a scooter and you hit them with your door.  I've been debating for years now whether or not it should be on my bucket list.
I cannot believe how fast summer goes.  This weekend is 4th of July.  Before you know it, all of the freshmen who think they're cool because they think they can long board(FWTTCBTTTCL) will soon be back in town.  These kids drive me bonkers.  Irregardless of if they can actually long board (the great majority cannot) they take over streets like they own the place.
If anyone is interested, I'm thinking of starting a 3OH3/Ke$ha mash-up tribute band.  I'm looking for a few talented, passionate individuals to come along side me for this journey.  I'm also opened to name suggestions.
Earlier this summer, I learned that My assistant coach Lyle Weese is very much a VHS guy and not so much into digital video disks.  Demand for a guy like him has decreased in the last decade and a half, but I can attest that when you need tracking adjusted when you're watching a movie that you taped of the tv (you can fast forward through commercials that way, pretty sweet), you'll be glad you know him.
I also have a sandal tan that's coming in nicely.

Sunday, June 12, 2011


I've come under some fire lately from some saying that my blogs could be better and that I'm on a path of writing increasingly desperate blogs for attention (DBFA) and that my recklessness will lead down a path of self-destruction and terrible, hacky puns.(Grossman)  Well I thought that I would combat that with a shotgun approach of thoughts that I have.
1) Irregardless is not a word.  Sticking the "ir" in front of regardless does not give it emphasis. 
2) There is only one, "t", in one place in the word "exacerbate".
3) How do blind people know when they're good to go (g2g) after "#2"?
4) I think someone needs to invent a motor that attaches to your hammock in the yard that keeps you gently swinging.
5) Have you ever noticed how loud planes are when they are flying?  All things considered, those things are pretty sound-proof inside.
6) Space Jam was a movie that defined a generation.

With that being said, I will now move on. 
The other day, I was enjoying some of my tapes as I have recently come across a brand new cassette recorder.  This thing is sweet, I can record songs off of the radio onto a tape of my own.  I've been calling in to my usual radio stations and requesting songs like crazy! I've made some pretty BOSS mix tapes recently though.  Anywho, I was browsing my local tape store and I found this really hot new girls group called TLC.  I recommend that everyone go and get this tape. They have a song on their record and in this song, they say "Don't go chasin' waterfalls".  What I have taken that to mean is that I should not chase something in order to make my blog into something that it's not.  So, I'm just gonna keep on doing what I do in this blog and risk the self destruction.


Works Cited

Grossman, Seth. "Lessons, Adventures, and the Wannabes that Follow." Sethoughts. Blogspot, 07 June, 2011. Web. 12 Jun 2011. <>.

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Summer is here

Many people tend to think that memorial day is the official start to summer.  I would agree with this statement.  So, as I always do this time of year, I boxed up my winter outfits, Christmas sweaters, my nice, wintry cardigans, as well as my cold weather mugs and put them in safe storage until Halloween.  As I began to un-box my summer tank tops and old pairs of jeans that had gotten holes in the knees and subsequently got turned into jean shorts (which i believe are very popular among youth these days; oh to be young again! But I digress.), I got to thinking about how great summer is.  I mean, you get to go to the lake and go swimming, you get to stay up late doing outdoor activities due to longer days, your trampoline is no longer covered in a ton of snow so you can finally start filming for the sick trampoline sesh video that you and your brother have been planning all winter, and you get to go to all sorts of summer camps where your parents aren't there to stop you from eating candy in bed AFTER you already brushed your teeth.  But the best part about summer: Food! There's cookouts, barbecues, potlucks and church picnics everywhere you look!  Not to mention the fact that there are more people walking around outside with food and you know they're bound to drop a little on the ground and not come back to claim it. SCORE!  This brings me to my main point: my future plans.
As most of you know, I will be graduating soon.  At that point, I will have to find some other way to fill my time as well as make a career for myself.  Here is the plan: win on the hit reality TV show, The Biggest Loser. I realize that one must be overweight in order to compete on this show.  This is my first phase post collegiate competition.  I have already hired a weight gain coach who really knows his stuff.  He has advised me that the best way to gain weight is to eat bear claw doughnuts, two at a time.  This will be a thrilling and delicious season of life I'm sure.  Next phase will be the weight loss phase on the show.  I will be competing very hard to lose all that weight.  Once I have lost it and win the show, I will then live off of endorsements for the rest of my life.  I see no possible holes in my plan.  Wish me luck as I begin to plan for this endeavor.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Summer Job

As many of you have heard, I have hit a bump in the road of adding to my collection of name tags and hairnets this summer (I fully expect Mr. Weese to know this reference).  job searching is not that easy it turns out.  I was very surprised to find out that there aren't an abundence of rich people ready to hire you for a high wage, make you only work six hours a day, and feed you delicious lunches everyday.  I just can't believe that there isn't a single job in this town (unless you want to work 40 hours a week!).  Perhaps I will start my own business: Dan's Danishes.

Come one come all!  Come to the newest and coolest place to get your flaky baked goods!  We serve all kinds of danishes.  From the traditional, (just like mom used to make!)  to the wacky, like the Atwood (our specialty, it is a twice deep fried butter danish, this comes topped with carmel and skittles).  Not only are our danishes great, but so is the atmosphere!  We have a great staff, you will be greeted at the counter with a friendly smile and a chipper greeting by our own Trevor Polson.  We always have a live in-house dj (the one and only Seth Grossman) who keeps the owl city, rebecca black, miley, and of course Avril bumping at all times!  So come on down and relax in our overstuffed beanbags and hand-shaped chairs and grab yourself one of Dan's Danishes!  Every night is kids night as well, so have a date night on Dan's Danishes!  Leave the kids with us!